I Wish

(Two days ago my beloved mother breathed her last, surrounded by her family. These words are for her.)
I wish I had told her 
How much I loved her
More often than I did

I wish I had hugged her
When I knew she needed a hug
More often than I did

I wish I had expressed
My gratitude for all she gave
More often than I did

I wish I had said I knew
What she was going through
More often than I did

I wish I had held her hand
And just said “I understand”
More often than I did

I wish I had tried to feel
The pain in her ruin of a body
More often than I did

I wish I had prayed
That I suffered it instead
More often than I did

I wish I’d shown my admiration
Of her indomitable spirit
More often than I did

I wish I’d shown my appreciation 
Of her incredible tenacity
More often than I did

All alone, now that she is gone
All alone, I wander around
Feeling like a lonely old beggar

With all these worthless wishes
Like a bunch of dud coins
Jangling in my coat pocket

8 thoughts on “I Wish

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