You go right ahead, my friend
Go ahead and grab that stash
Whenever you need absolution
Just spare us a little of that cash
Lying, cheating, profiteering
That’s the norm in this world of sin
Concerned about the afterlife?
No worries mate, the fix is in!
So what if it feels a little wrong?
We’re here to help, so please relax!
Just memorize this devotional song
And don’t forget the entertainment tax!
Stealing from the mouths of the poor and the weak
Well – that’s not such an abomination
There’s a reason they’re poor: they’re meek!
All you need to bring is that small donation
All that stuff about doing good
My friend, that’s just folklore
In the wonderful world of faith
Remember, there’s always the back door!